Went to my Dr. Appointment at 1pm and it was a GIRL!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Its a Girl!!!
At 6am this morning i woke up from a dream about my Ultra-Sound and saw my whole room was lighting up pink from the sunrise out my window it was soooo beautiful! Keith was letting me know ITS A GIRL! :) Love & Miss You My Gaurdian Angel xoxo
Went to my Dr. Appointment at 1pm and it was a GIRL!
Went to my Dr. Appointment at 1pm and it was a GIRL!
(: Fame & Name :)
These past weeks have been pretty difficult with going to school trying to keep my head up...
Its been a whole month without my best friend. But i have been keeping my head up no matter how hard it has been by getting my mind off of missing him. The week after he passed away i went and met up with his Best Friend/GF?? and her son and his friends...we went to a NA meeting so i could help everyone and felt like a good leader of our new wolf pack. (I know he would be proud of us all) I couldnt beleive i have been sober for over 6 months!!! It was really the best feeling i have ever felt not knowing i could surprise myself with such acheivement like that. It was difficult to do because of this being part of the reason why he isnt here with us today as much as i helped him...
For weeks i would cry myself to sleep dreding going to school but everyday i am getting stronger and listening to his music on my way to and from school really makes me feel he is still here with me.
this first week of MAY:
Met Famous Chef Eric Ripert 05/05/11
Its been a whole month without my best friend. But i have been keeping my head up no matter how hard it has been by getting my mind off of missing him. The week after he passed away i went and met up with his Best Friend/GF?? and her son and his friends...we went to a NA meeting so i could help everyone and felt like a good leader of our new wolf pack. (I know he would be proud of us all) I couldnt beleive i have been sober for over 6 months!!! It was really the best feeling i have ever felt not knowing i could surprise myself with such acheivement like that. It was difficult to do because of this being part of the reason why he isnt here with us today as much as i helped him...
For weeks i would cry myself to sleep dreding going to school but everyday i am getting stronger and listening to his music on my way to and from school really makes me feel he is still here with me.
To Keith :
this first week of MAY:
Met Famous Chef Eric Ripert 05/05/11
I went to DC and met a famous world renowned chef named Eric Ripert and asked if i could ask him a question for my paper...i asked him a few interview questions to use him as a source in my english paper...One Question was: "Was getting a degree from Culinary School in Perpignan France worth his time and effort?"He said "Being in school at age 15 i didn't think it would be worth it, but i wanted to learn to cook to make my dreams of being a chef come true. Looking back on my life today i am happy with the decision i have made and feel it it very important to have in order to be successful." pretty cool :)
Went to Josh Gracin Concert w/ Diana 05/07/11
&& Met Josh!!!
The 3 Aprils
First i would like to appoligize for it being a while for writing a blog in April for a while...I had a Incodient like the old saying "everything happends in threes."
#1 April 10th was a pretty hard day for me while i was pretty upset with the 1 year anniversary of my brothers bestfriend Jeb death. He was a only 15 and was born with a breathing problem so he had tubes in his neck to help him breathe...Every summer when my brother would come visit VA for the summer i would hear this little child ring the doorbell at 7am wanting my brother to hangout and play outside with him. yes i got annoyed with this because the dog would bark i would have to dis-arm the alarm every morning but that day i was missing him so much...wishing i could being annoyed by him one last time. Everyone knew about him...New friends that would come and visit me i would introduce him to riding in a scooter my family help provide for him. (Since my uncle owns a wheelchair and Rehab Equipment business) Remembering him telling me how he cant wait to drive a nice car and get his licence making "Vroom-Vroom" noises that make me laugh. Really sucks he wasnt able to experience the whole Girlfriend and sweet 16 birthday but he was a amazing child i will always remember who loved life and lived to have fun as a kid.
#2 April 11th My little brothers Sweet 16! Upset because for 2 1/2 years i have been unable to attend his and my Twin Sisters birthdays...and this is his SWEET 16. Talked with him and knowing he was upset about Jeb again this year and really didnt want to have a birthday this year but i made sure i was there to comfort him and to make sure he was okay because that is what family is for...Wasnt able to get him anything for his birthday because i have been broke for a longtime in this state of VA/DC. After class that night somthing didnt feel right i felt like i was being followed and something was trying to tell me something but i couldnt make sence of what was going on? Told my babys father about it and he just thought i was watching too many ghost shows and i was talking crazy. And then....
#3 April 12th My bestfriend Keith Demember from AIW i found out that morning on facebook he has passed away because of a post on his wall from my friend that said R.I.P...I couldnt stop crying infront of the Computer looking at his picture knowing a week ago he wanted to hangout. I never told him the true feeling i have kept inside that i have felt for him or thanked him for being such a amazing friend to me...We met in August of 09 right when i first started school at AIW he was a graphic design student outside smoking ciggarettes infront of school. These guys were playing hacky-sack outside while i was chilling against the wall. Something told me i needed to talk to him so we started chatting about my family and where i was from and how i ended up in the culinary field...Ever since that day we were constantly bumping into eachother at school and had a amazing friendship. One of my Favorite mamories with him was telling him outside when i won 1st place in the Ace of Cake competition. Sooo...You Won 1st Place in Ace Of Cake Competition Huh?"-keith "Yup :) "-Me "AAAahhhh! Im So Proud Of You!" **Big Hug** -Keith Remember this day very well...he couldnt stop talking about me and bragin to everyone about me outside. My last memory with him was at school starting Spring Quarter of 2011. Havent seen him in months because he took a quarter off (personal reasons i knew about) We saw eachother and couldnt help but smile :) he pulled me over in front of the school giving me the biggest and longest hug of my life....asking me about the baby and how my life has been and telling me he was so happy for me and how i am going to be such a amazing mother.I really dont wanna go into detail about anything else because i would like to keep our memories cherished. I just know he did care about me alot and always will.
R.I.P J.B.M & K.E.D <3
PICTURES:
Jeb && Bench in the park that the whole Villamay neighborhood contributed too...
Keith && Box I made for his family to put memories from his friends and family in...
#1 April 10th was a pretty hard day for me while i was pretty upset with the 1 year anniversary of my brothers bestfriend Jeb death. He was a only 15 and was born with a breathing problem so he had tubes in his neck to help him breathe...Every summer when my brother would come visit VA for the summer i would hear this little child ring the doorbell at 7am wanting my brother to hangout and play outside with him. yes i got annoyed with this because the dog would bark i would have to dis-arm the alarm every morning but that day i was missing him so much...wishing i could being annoyed by him one last time. Everyone knew about him...New friends that would come and visit me i would introduce him to riding in a scooter my family help provide for him. (Since my uncle owns a wheelchair and Rehab Equipment business) Remembering him telling me how he cant wait to drive a nice car and get his licence making "Vroom-Vroom" noises that make me laugh. Really sucks he wasnt able to experience the whole Girlfriend and sweet 16 birthday but he was a amazing child i will always remember who loved life and lived to have fun as a kid.
#2 April 11th My little brothers Sweet 16! Upset because for 2 1/2 years i have been unable to attend his and my Twin Sisters birthdays...and this is his SWEET 16. Talked with him and knowing he was upset about Jeb again this year and really didnt want to have a birthday this year but i made sure i was there to comfort him and to make sure he was okay because that is what family is for...Wasnt able to get him anything for his birthday because i have been broke for a longtime in this state of VA/DC. After class that night somthing didnt feel right i felt like i was being followed and something was trying to tell me something but i couldnt make sence of what was going on? Told my babys father about it and he just thought i was watching too many ghost shows and i was talking crazy. And then....
#3 April 12th My bestfriend Keith Demember from AIW i found out that morning on facebook he has passed away because of a post on his wall from my friend that said R.I.P...I couldnt stop crying infront of the Computer looking at his picture knowing a week ago he wanted to hangout. I never told him the true feeling i have kept inside that i have felt for him or thanked him for being such a amazing friend to me...We met in August of 09 right when i first started school at AIW he was a graphic design student outside smoking ciggarettes infront of school. These guys were playing hacky-sack outside while i was chilling against the wall. Something told me i needed to talk to him so we started chatting about my family and where i was from and how i ended up in the culinary field...Ever since that day we were constantly bumping into eachother at school and had a amazing friendship. One of my Favorite mamories with him was telling him outside when i won 1st place in the Ace of Cake competition. Sooo...You Won 1st Place in Ace Of Cake Competition Huh?"-keith "Yup :) "-Me "AAAahhhh! Im So Proud Of You!" **Big Hug** -Keith Remember this day very well...he couldnt stop talking about me and bragin to everyone about me outside. My last memory with him was at school starting Spring Quarter of 2011. Havent seen him in months because he took a quarter off (personal reasons i knew about) We saw eachother and couldnt help but smile :) he pulled me over in front of the school giving me the biggest and longest hug of my life....asking me about the baby and how my life has been and telling me he was so happy for me and how i am going to be such a amazing mother.I really dont wanna go into detail about anything else because i would like to keep our memories cherished. I just know he did care about me alot and always will.
R.I.P J.B.M & K.E.D <3
PICTURES:
Jeb && Bench in the park that the whole Villamay neighborhood contributed too...
Keith && Box I made for his family to put memories from his friends and family in...
"Forget we not our precious youth for in our minds we are alyways there."-K.E.D
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Its a Quarter After One Im All Alone....(And Happy Hes Leaving Now!)
Just got into a huge argument because my Ex is extremely annoying. He is the biggest antagonizer i know (besides my little brother) i was explaining to him how i dont want to be in a relationship and how i am still upset with having him around after everything he did to me while we were together. When we were first dating he lied to me and told he his family lived in Deleware Okay...So every monday and tuseday he would go and visit his "family" turns out thats his quote on quote family was a girlfriend!!! how did i find this out?? we were on a date and at Clydes in chinatown having a amazing time taking pictures...i went to look at a pic of us on his phone and went to zoom in and saw a picture of a naked girl that was taken the day before our date. BUSTED!!!! I dont know why i stayed with him but i wounded up continuing the relationship and got screwed over 2 other times...I was furious a few months ago when he got laid off his job for yelling at a dishwasher lol. He had gotten the keys to open up a new resturant in DC i was very proud of him when he told me the news and told me he needed a pastry chef (so i was going to take the job) the next day he goes to work i get a call at 2am and he is Drunkkk. Explains how he was at the resturant and was at the bar after his shift and the owner hands him a drink. booze kept flowing all night and then the next morning he gets a call saying how he lost the job and the keys to owning the place. I WONDER WHY???? 20 min later i go to get on my facebook and i check my messages. i had one from someone i didnt know and saw he was talking to his friend about his ex of 4 years!!! that is when i realized i was on his facebook and i had to read into it because he was talking about how he got fired and i had to figure out why he was talking about his ex in the same message...(sorry i was nosey but i had to do it) turns out he lied to me! his ex got him the job and the keys to the place he wrote that he missed her and how he isnt happy and how the whole night he wanted to have sex with her and he has been texting her all the time wishing he could be with and spend more time with her...drunken thoughts is a sober mind. anyways i explained how i am not happy and how i still have this as a problem expecially with being a new mother carrying his child. all he had to say is your a horrible person who can never let anything go. yes i am a person who cant let anything go when its effecting our future with trying to get along with eachother for a baby. i dont think he deserves to be in the childs life because of it and because i am not happy. yes he is working and helping me out but i seriously cant deal with being unhappy and upset. then he EXPLODED! i walked out of the room twice telling him to leave and to go home and he refused. i locked myself into the bathroom and he still wouldnt leave so i called my uncle and was about to call the cops because he was yelling and being crazy at 1am...so finally he left after a half hour and thank god my Apt didnt make a noise complaint or anything. sooo tireddddd goodnight xoxo
Today is Tomorrow...
No it is not midnight and i know it is not tomorrow...i just really needed to blog right now. Today is my celebration of being in my 2nd trimester. i am scared to have kids because my roomie has a daughter. i am worried my child would not be able to properly communicate to the rest of the world. i am afraid i will not be able to proved him or her with everything that they need. I am trying to finish up school and get all my classes to passing so i can get a good job and succeed in life. pooped from writing cant wait to take a nap and have the room and apartment peace and quiet.
Day One of Blogger...
I was inspired by getting a website by my friend i met in college at AIW (Art Institute of Washington) and she was a amazing blogger. I decided to give in and get my own blog because of my family and babies fathers family, complaining about my facebook statuses which i don't think they are bad at all...my first blog might be horrible and i apologize but like the saying goes "theres always a first for everything..."
Mostly what i will be writing about is my days with going threw my first pregnancy, becoming a new mom, family issues, being a college student, and any issues i have with roommate's or the babies father.
sooo tomorrow i will start my blogging YAY!!!
Mostly what i will be writing about is my days with going threw my first pregnancy, becoming a new mom, family issues, being a college student, and any issues i have with roommate's or the babies father.
sooo tomorrow i will start my blogging YAY!!!
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